2020 Presidential Candidates As Pokemon Pt. II

Been busy. Am less so now. The candidates as Avengers meme was garbage. This is what the people really want to know. So here are five more. I will compile the whole thing when I'm done and any Pokevolutions will happen then, too.

Mike Gravel is Granbull

He's been on his shit for forty years and the world is catching up to him. A study in paradox, an online meme candidate who is also an old white dude who, if his announcement video is any indication, is very much an old man.

An outright rebuke of imperialism as its current evolved form is welcome. Not that weaponized hypocrisy is super effective, but it was one of Trump's positions that he subsequently abandoned for GOP Orthodoxy

 Andrew Yang as Psyduck

Andrew Yang is attempting to speak to the masses who are dissatisfied and disaffected by the current political establishment and the encroachment of an automative financial apocalypse. He has attempted to go viral and game the system for the Democratic debates, and wants to shock the system. Because that worked out so well last time. 

It's mind games and flim flam. Prove me wrong Yang Gang. His wasn't the most annoying candidate interview by the gushing MSNBC hosts.
 

William F. Weld is Garbodor

Weld hopes to free Republicanism from Trumpism. Nevermind that the policies of Trump are just mainstream GOP principals not even carried out to their extreme, just to their expected end. He just wants to put a proper, civil face on it. Or more appropriately, bag up the garbage instead of just keep it out in the open.

Joe Biden is Slowbro

Joe has ran before. He's ran and lost. He was indistinguishable from several other candidates during the Democratic Presidential Debates. Go back and watch SNL from ten years ago. And twenty years ago. And thirty years ago.

His two favorite targets are Trump and the burgeoning progressives and leftists that are invigorating the Democratic Party. So yeah. That's hopeful.

While he's more likely to fizzle out as people are reminded  of his voting record and creepy uncle peccadilloes, he's got name recognition and a chance. The claim is that he can stand up to Trump, but he's not regarded as a wit. He's a total bro. If he doeswin , I will go back and retcon this list to label him as Slowking. Took a while, but he got there.

Howard Schultz is Snorlax

 

He's just getting in the way of moving past all this. He gives us coffee and wants us to wake up, but he's the one who needs to wake up and get out of the way.

To be continued...